Trapped In the Antechamber of Sleep

I will get where I'm going eventually, but I'm going to start with an ongoing discussion my wife and I have had off and on about whether or not to get Netflix. Ideally we would cut cable and go for Netflix as an alternative.  I'm watching less and less television of late, not even watching basketball on a regular basis.  Nadine watches The National regularly and indulges in the disaster movie genre late on a Saturday night, late of course being 8:30.

For my own part, I've occasionally gone all in on a 99 cent rental from iTunes, but I don't usually get around to watching them until the very last day of the 30 rental period.  Tonight I tried to beat the clock on a rental that is an interesting echo to this period of parenthood.  While We're Young had an echoey premise with a pair of childless 40-somethings finding themselves struggling with middle age and also losing touch with friends who have kids.  Not that I'm in the main characters' situation but it has been interesting to see a subtle, not too broad comedy.  Today being the 30th day on the rental, I managed to squeeze in the first 52 minutes this morning thanks to a gust of insomnia that got me out of bed at 5:10 this morning.

Tonight I have the balance of the movie, another 53 minutes to get in before the things expires at 9:34pm tonight.  I'm also flying solo tonight as Nadine has had her first girls' weekend of motherhood start today.

Gabriel missed Nadine tonight and getting him down tonight required a bit more attention and work. I got him into bed a 8pm sharp after dinner, vitamins, teeth and his books but he was a little restless and longing for Nadine's comfort on this night.  When we first settled in, he was rather chatty and energetic a sign that he might be a while settling in and falling asleep.  We exchanged notes on bumps and scratches that we have accumulated over the last few days and assured one another that we would recover.  I resorted to what I could to settle him down, stroking his stomach and his head to help him, but as he settled down time and again there was always a stumble on his way from consciousness to sleep.  

As the first silence settled, he interrupted himself to tell me that dressing up as Super Mario and going on stage to "dance" to "Uptown Funk" was the highlight of our holiday last month.  I did not get enough shots of that.  I settled him down again or so I thought and I laid quietly next to him waiting for that rhythm and rasp of breathing that suggested that he was nodding off...out.  As I weighed the growing silence in the dark he would perk up to ask where his, "medium-size bear, Barry" (or Beary, he'll correct me on the spelling when he spells) is and a few minutes later asked about his rabbit, which is nameless.

The breathing settled into that familiar rhythm as the hour ticked along and I felt confident enough to nudge myself to a seated position on the side of his bed, only to have him ask where I was and what I was doing. I settled back in next to him again and waited for the breathing to indicate whether he was progressing toward sleep.  I had to do this a few times.

There was one time he asked me if I heard what he heard in the still of the apartment and another where he pointed out that the only thing he could hear was me shushing him to get quiet and settle down.

On another occasion, "You farted. That was funny," left me wondering if he was back at square one.

Throughout, I kept my eye on the clock and wondered if his unsteady progression toward sleep might keep me from finishing the movie before it expired.  There were other interruptions as he asked what we were doing on the weekend, asked when his mother was coming back and rambled randomly in utterances that suggested he was finally giving up consciousness for the day.  He fell asleep around 9pm and allowed me a chance to see the rest of the movie.  The juggling act, as one of the later scenes in the movie admitted, especially for parents of young kids in their 40s is, both physically and mentally, a demanding one. I'm glad the Mrs. is getting a break from it at last.  In the meantime, hold on to your sense of humour and your ability to let things go.